Care and the Idea of Self-Sufficiency

When care decisions that are out-of-home are required for our elderly, there are often hard choices to consider. Don't be fooled into thinking "Self-Sufficiency"is the answer when you see warning signs that a parent/elder may worsen. Be ready to answer care needs with options. If staying in the home with help coming into the home for you will work, then consider what is involved with managing this care in-house. And if having an elder move to a facility is warranted, do your homework!

Remember that different care facilities (nursing/skilled facilities/Assisted Living/Board and Care) are equipped to handle different ranges of care -- from low levels to care (which include different types of residential care of the elderly) to very complex and challenging care (in skilled care facilities). And these locations are staffed according to the complexity they expect (& the licensing required for that type of care). Assisted Living and residential care facilities for the elderly have different oversight from a licensing perspective than skilled facilities and because of this, one should do research in advance and tour places with many questions in hand.

I would advise anyone caring for an elder with a chronic or debilitating/worsening condition to really look into what an elder's diagnosis may entail in the future and then think about these hard questions in advance when touring facilities of all types. I added a photo of my own parents and me in this post. When their home life was settled (after 3 moves!) and they were well cared for, life was manageable... and happy. This for them meant a residential care facility with low levels of care but supplemented by in-home caregivers from an agency.

Taking care of family in home is wonderful for some and for others there are benefits of congregate living that make that worth investigating. Keep in mind what you can manage and afford, and always openly ask for help when you can and --wait for it -- be ready to pay for extra help or a change of location for care if needed.

Remember that it's important to be armed with facts and best/worst case scenarios. Also be ready to change a situation if it's warranted. The care of our family is of highest importance and making their home a "home" will make their lives longer in many cases, and more fulfilled in all cases.