This is a hard blog to write but eventually had to happen. Despite a huge effort in studying family care, writing a dissertation on it, writing a book on it (see Scholars Press) and one now unpublished work (was on Lulu.com under Fruits of Care: A Users Guide to Family Caregiving-co-authored with the amazing Gael Chiarella Alba), I am moving on.
I know that my cohort of graduate classmates from my University of San Francisco alumni group might be disappointed, but if they know me well enough, they know I gave it more than the "ol college try" - and then som.
To the left is me in 2013 talking about caregiving.
Another important prefacing comment. Personally I'm no longer able to define myself as a caregiver by lived experience (my mother in law passed 10/2025; my father in law in 2024, and my own parents in 2013 and 2015--see my parents below with their affliction of Parkinsons). And as alluded to above, I never found a job to pay for an income supporting a caregiver career other than teaching classes in workshops and community colleges. I was even an ombudsman looking after the advocacy needs of those in residential skilled care and conferring with caregiving family members - without pay. But I am not that anymore. I am now in the corner of special education and early education as a professional career and one educational (special education) credential. And very soon I will have second educational credential by May, 2026 (in multi-subject education for elementary ages). Thus speaking about something with which my personal life no longer aligns and my career does not, leaves me in this place of liminality. And it's time to move on.
I feel so deeply that caregivers need support, direction, space to grow, innovative ideas about disability, and as appropriate, to feel the "feels" of the challenges that are often misunderstood. That was the point of my blog when I started it over a decade ago. I steadfastly posted monthly and sometimes quarterly.
But in April of 2025 when I was working as an AmeriCorps member within a university (& A disability non-profit helping many including caregivers!), my job was defunded and this important federal program went through a long pause until the lawsuits from various states (& across the aisle bipartisanship). Yet, nevertheless, my colleagues and my grant-funded program could not recover. From late April until August I did a lot of thinking about where to use my talents, as well as how to finish those academic areas of importance to me (i.e., finishing a special education credential), and arrived at helping those with disabilities.
Along the way, I serendipitously found another graduate program that aligned with special education and "fell" into a vital role that was right for me allowing me to aim to be a co-teacher in an inclusive special education classroom that is publicly funded yet addresses the pre-academic needs of those not even old enough for Kindergarten.
My scholarly pursuits will likely not involve anything peer reviewed, grant funded, but may involve a submission to an early childhood magazine. There will be presentations on capability, disability and overcoming perceived and real obstacles (which is the very definition of inclusion - it's a big word and a lot of "takes" on what it means). And I'll be teaching from a heart-centered and powerful place that takes all of my momentum that was striving to work in the caregiving space, and allows it to blossom in a classroom among little minds and their parents (& co-workers).
I did not speak much on this blog about the author coaching role I did but one of my clients' books has become a reality - if you wish to see it or buy it (at Lulu.com).
As I close this blog's professional focus away from caregiving and toward a new beginning in another realm yet to be defined, I'm reminded of the "Prayer of a Confederate Soldier" when it comes to my career trajectory and from this I find solace and a feeling that I was always on the right path with this long career journey.
I asked God for strength that I might achieve. I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey. I asked for health that I might do greater things. I was given infirmity that I might do better things. I asked for riches that I might be happy. I was given poverty that I might be wise. I asked for power that I might have the praise of men. I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God. I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. I was given life that I might enjoy all things. I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I had hoped for. Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered. I am, among all men, most richly blessed. I am, among men, most richly blessed... if only because of You, Lord. Amen.
-Unknown Confederate Soldier
I have my family to thank for supporting me through this journey and all of its ups and downs. This has definitely been a down version of a Christmas holiday with my mother-in-law gone. But I'm hopeful for brighter days ahead.Finally, I want to conclude a note from one of my two daughters that she wrote to me as she refers to being a "woman who runs with the wolves". This is a reference to the book by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, "Women Who Run with the Wolves" (from 1992, the year I graduated college). I read this in the 1990's and then again when I was raising kids, working and going to graduate school, caregiving and authoring books. And creative mom that I am, I read my kids from this book too--of course, only hand selected age-appropriate folklore stories in this book were read to them when they grew up. The reason I read it to them and also re-read it myself was in the hope of using this metaphorical use of myth and lore as a way help me to overcome self-doubt, find strength and hone my intuition. All in the hope that I am living as authentic of a life that I can (& will still continue to strive to do). This is my plan for my life ahead--not so much reading books for help, but drawing from what I have been given and using it to its potential (regardless of where life takes me).
STAY TUNED FOR A NEW BLOG DIRECTION IN 2026!
