This photo below is of me holding a "Self-Care" shirt that I bought for a friend who has two children with Autism and two typical children. This friend was explaining to me the trials of parenting two special needs children and how it varies from the parenting of two typical kids. I feel helpless as a friend to find the right words and I'm not close by to support this friend who is a 6 hour drive away...but somehow mailing her this shirt made me feel better (& made her laugh - especially when the shirt in "Extra Large" was something like a normal mom's "Medium"). We both got a good laugh and had a way to talk about self-care without making it feel forced.
It's not selfish for a caregiver to take care of self. These are not massages and facials for most -- as an overwhelmed caregiver small actions that invite reflection, space for rest, and just plain joy that feels like a thing of the past should be made to fit on the schedule. Looking into babysitters, formal respite care services (if they are part of care plan) or just friends or family to help you support your loved one should not invite guilt. I assure you that you will feel better with time to regroup.
Don't brush self-care aside...I may have to send you a tee shirt, too, to remind you how important this is!
