Care and the Idea of Self-Sufficiency

When care decisions that are out-of-home are required for our elderly, there are often hard choices to consider. Don't be fooled into thinking "Self-Sufficiency"is the answer when you see warning signs that a parent/elder may worsen. Be ready to answer care needs with options. If staying in the home with help coming into the home for you will work, then consider what is involved with managing this care in-house. And if having an elder move to a facility is warranted, do your homework!

Remember that different care facilities (nursing/skilled facilities/Assisted Living/Board and Care) are equipped to handle different ranges of care -- from low levels to care (which include different types of residential care of the elderly) to very complex and challenging care (in skilled care facilities). And these locations are staffed according to the complexity they expect (& the licensing required for that type of care). Assisted Living and residential care facilities for the elderly have different oversight from a licensing perspective than skilled facilities and because of this, one should do research in advance and tour places with many questions in hand.

I would advise anyone caring for an elder with a chronic or debilitating/worsening condition to really look into what an elder's diagnosis may entail in the future and then think about these hard questions in advance when touring facilities of all types. I added a photo of my own parents and me in this post. When their home life was settled (after 3 moves!) and they were well cared for, life was manageable... and happy. This for them meant a residential care facility with low levels of care but supplemented by in-home caregivers from an agency.

Taking care of family in home is wonderful for some and for others there are benefits of congregate living that make that worth investigating. Keep in mind what you can manage and afford, and always openly ask for help when you can and --wait for it -- be ready to pay for extra help or a change of location for care if needed.

Remember that it's important to be armed with facts and best/worst case scenarios. Also be ready to change a situation if it's warranted. The care of our family is of highest importance and making their home a "home" will make their lives longer in many cases, and more fulfilled in all cases.

Rosalyn Carter on Family Care and The Future

Soon my good friend and co-author, Gael Chiarella Alba and I will unveil our new book called “Fruits of Care: A User's Guide to Family Caregiving” to give caregivers a helpful guide during their time of need. The date of our book coming out is not yet released but I can expect early fall you will see more about it on this site (and other sites). The photo below is a page from the proof...it's been a wonderful work in progress.

It just so happens that on the back of our book, "Fruits of Care" is a terrific quote from Rosalynn Carter. Today I was delighted to see the eminent wife of Jimmy Carter speaking about caregivers with an audience of those in Iowa interviewing presidential candidates. She is a force to be reckoned with and is using her voice and position in society to advance caregiver interests. She also proposes current and new legislation and speaks to how to help caregivers in concrete ways.

She states, “As you prepare to interview and evaluate the next set of presidential candidates, I ask you to help me shine a spotlight on the more than 40 million Americans and over 300,000 Iowans who are family caregivers...You may not be one, but you most certainly know one. Caregivers are the selfless people who provide unpaid care for loved ones who are ill or have serious medical conditions." If you want to know more about this topic, see her website www.rosalynncarter.org or follow her on your favorite social media platform.

For more specific details about how the presidential candidates can be questioned about how they will respond to the needs of a future with more caregivers, see this link for First Lady Carter's Des Mois Register newspaper article